In 2008 after attending Unseminar 5, I realized jobs and I were not friends, in fact we were in fact not even on friendly terms. If anything, we have a mutual hatred of each other. (As long as it’s mutual right?) And that it was actually possible to make a living online. But I had promised my clients I would work one more season.
One More Season
Tax season started early in November because our company offered a “pre-season” loan that reduces the refund, by giving clients money now. This early loan bothered me ethically, the interest rate was legal, yet the fees associated with it made it reprehensible. Plus unfortunately this mostly preys on the uneducated and we are “encouraged” to push them to get the loan if they sit at our desk.
Starting in November threw me off schedule for the things I needed to have done before Christmas and on my business. But throwing me worse was that twice I had the boss visit me at my desk to publicly yell at me. During this last season she yelled at me at least a dozen times. Yes, yell, raise her voice and yell at me. No, I am not deaf.
Every tax season, since I started at the new office, I would get laryngitis for almost a week. This year was different, I got it in November, in January, and in late February. 3 TIMES. One co-worker was getting her associates degree online when we were slow, my co-workers on crafts that they would later sell. Yet my writing a book was strictly prohibited. When clients came in, my crafty co-workers were given a moment to get things off their desk, I was not. And in the end I got the least pay that I had received in years.
With the laryngitis and other oddities, it was like being given a big “have you finally had enough?” kind of warning.
Roadblocks
So as soon as tax season ended, my credit card got hit with a HUGE fee for an annual subscription that I didn’t know I had. The company refused to refund my money, because I had “agreed” to the subscription. The credit card company refused to work with me. And now I have a subscription to service that has ebooks and articles written by non-English speaking writers. Mistakes are common.
Salem, my now 10 year old cat was attacked by another cat. It’s happened before, he normally needs a few days to recoup, but he started getting worse not better. The vet prescribed antibiotics, and said he’d might need surgery and come back next week. Next week resulted in the same issuance, so 6 weeks after the first visit he finally had surgery and a final week of antibiotics. 
Just in time for Luna to cut her paw open…
Having not been much of one for being sick (except for the annual laryngitis and a bit of flu then), I was shocked to get the flu in the middle of the summer. Every time I tried to make big progress with one of my businesses I got sick. Blocks appearing to get me discouraged and whenever I wanted to make progress. So it was a bummer… but
Progress was made!
July 20th, I hosted a 12 hour web Ustream marathon. Interviewing different people on how to conquer fear. The book I started writing in 2008 was put on a shelf until I could make money. Yet I produced an ebook and two videos. I created 3 new websites during 2009 that have been my new hub, my business and personal blog (which you are reading). My personality has changed to a stronger and more positive.
While there are some who say I am negative, a lot of my posts here must reflect my own stories of abuse because I cannot tell someone else’s story, nor can I tell what has been disclosed to me personally. Plus if I only include the positive how can I hope to help people find the positive from negative situations, or to realize that they deserve better than abusive situations. Too often we only qualify physical abuse when there are other forms of abuse. In addition sometimes what others view as negative is statement of facts for me.
That’s my story… and I’m stickin’ to it.
So please comment with what have been your roadblocks?
MJ
Odds are, you know someone who was physically abused, odds are you know someone who was sexually assaulted even raped. Odds are you know someone emotionally abused. Odds are you know several. Odds are in many cases you don’t even know this is part of their history or current situation.
My last post was “But he doesn’t hit me” which was talking about emotional and mental abuse. Then on Thanksgiving, my facebook status was “if there are more than 4 women at your table, then one of them has been abused, molested and or raped. 1 in 12 odds for men.” So after a few emails I knew this was something that needed further discussion.
Maybe the number sounds high. You may look around your family, or your close friends and say “no, nothing has ever happened, I know them.” But the truth is sad.
It may have happened when they were little. Maybe it happened years ago, or it may have happened just today. First off, no matter if it is rape, sexual assault, physical abuse, or mental abuse it is embarrassing and humiliating. Second there is a problem of who do they tell, who can be trusted.
Most any form of abuse or assault happens from people known by the survivors. Since so many know their attackers, who can they trust? Even when they develop trust again, there are victims who would rather close the book and never talk about it again. Others may only mention when they are worried about someone else, or the topic becomes of importance.
It’s not an easy subject to handle or to announce. But what about those odds… again the truth is sad. Between friends and emails received I know many cases where this is a secret few know. If you are a guy you know men don’t talk. Men often feel emasculated by being abused so they are even more reluctant to talk.
It is not something talked about at the dinner table, so yes you could be sitting with a survivor, if not survivors. The odds are all too real. The reason for this story is simple. When do we make this stop? What can we do to help it stop?
Watch for signs of abuse. Watch for signs of someone having been raped. Offer support. Encourage medical attention as necessary. Do not push, judge or criticize. Read below for signs and visit the sites to see how you can help. If you are at a club and see someone slip something in a drink, tell someone. If you feel sleepy after a drink, talk to a guard or management. If you see abusive signs in your own relationship, seek help. Remember respect, honor and most important love. Put LOVE first everything else will fall into place.
MJ Schrader
Signs of Abusive Relationships
Fear of conflict, worried about upsetting a partner. Unexplained injuries, jumpy nervous behavior. Lose contact with friends. Change in activities, behavior and or appearance. Frequent last minute change of plans. Excuses made for abuser. Click here to learn how to help a friend or family member who is being abused.
Signs of Rape or Sexual Assault from NY Times
Rape or Sexual Assault is a very traumatic event. The person who was raped may or may not be able to say that she was actually raped, or she may seek medical attention for a different complaint. Emotional reactions differ greatly and may include:confusion, social withdrawal, tearfulness, nervousness or seemingly inappropriate laughter, numbness, hostility, and fear. Click here to learn how to help a friend who was raped
Posted by MJ Schrader under
Life
Here is the summation of my week.
Friday morning, I find that the kitten someone dumped on my porch 3 weeks ago can’t walk. She’s upset, sensitive to touch, and when I put her down she falls over. I checked for broken leg, no, but she squalls when I touch her right front leg. Call my vet. Gone til Monday. Call mom’s vet. Gone til Monday. *CRY* Mom, which vet do I go to??? She says go to the horse’s vet. I call. You want to make an appointment? No. can’t I drop her off for someone to look at as soon as possible?
Naturally she is able to move when I get to the vet, albeit not well. Plus she’s not her normal spitfire self. She was running a fever. After asking if I had other cats he tells me basically she has cat scratch fever. “You know how it can make you feel bad?” the vet asks me. Yes. “Well she weighs 2.6 lbs and you’re bigger.” “Give her Amoxicillin twice a day.” It’s that pink stuff in the fridge that your parents gave you when you were a kid… yea that stuff.
Take her home. Massage her little body. Lay her on a warm towel. She doesn’t move. Check on her. Massage, reheat towel. Help her when she does want up. Friday night I visit a friend because I promised and I can’t watch Lilo anymore. Half afraid she won’t be alive when I make it back. We watch “27 dresses” eat a Hungry Howies Pizza with flavored crusts. This was Canadian Bacon (Ham), Tomato, Pepperoni with a Butter Cheese Crust. Fresh tomatoes, right amount of sauce, awesome crust. BEST PIZZA!
Lilo has moved a bit since I left, so I feel better about her.
Saturday Check on Lilo. Reheat towel. Help her. After three calls, I finally get my ex-boyfriend to answer his phone, something has come up and AGAIN he can’t pick up his truck and boat. Then a now ex-friend calls “maybe if I make you really angry you will change your life!” Never mind I have completely changed my life from four months ago, and actually truth be known I re-invent myself every few years it seems. His “help” did far more damage than good.
Sunday With all the stress and the insults from the ex-friend, and my ex-boyfriend calling to remind me he wasn’t coming to get his truck I feel sick. Rather than fight it, I decide to let myself be sick, watch TV and de-stress.
Monday My brother and Sis-in-law were in town, but were going back to Lake Charles, (they live in Macedonia but are visiting SIL’s parents down there). I decide to take them to Main Event in Plano. They have a $20 a person Monday’s. That’s bowling, laser tag, billiards AND a $10 game card for just $20. So we go to Plano (50 minutes NE of here). We eat at Abuelo’s. SIL & I order the Enchiladas de Cozumel… *sigh* Divine.
Then off to Main Event, where we get our cards, we play billiards. We bowl. 2nd frame, on the last step (the step when you slide your foot) my foot slides, the toe part does not. This twists my foot, my ankle and my knee. My foot hurts and my bad knee hurt. Being incredibly stubborn and used to my knee hurting I keep bowling. Except now I am lucky if I hit 3 pins. Half the time I roll gutter balls. I try using my left. We start another set. I play two frames and give. My knee HURTS. So they play the rest of my frames for me. Then we played laser tag, and I just guarded base, and shuffled around.
At 11:45 we head home. For some odd reason there’s not a lot of traffic on North I-75. A car slowly passes us, we are going the speed limit, it stays in the 2nd lane. Another car passes, we’re going 65 that car is probably going 80, it gets into the lane in front of me. While, I for some very odd reason I notice the exit sign and say 32A.
I look back at the road, notice the 2nd car has made it to the 1st. From my lane the 2nd swerves, then does a U-turn in front of the first car. The car runs semi-sideways through the plastic poles that separate the HOV lane from the other 3 lanes. Then the car runs front end into the concrete median, then winds up facing wrong way down the interstate.
I started pulling over as it turned around. When it comes to a rest I have my phone. I call 911, apparently I am first caller. But I forget to turn off my car, or unlock it for my brother. My brother gets out to check on the car’s occupants. The 911 operator answers Allen Tx (where we were) so I just go on with my spiel of where we are and what I saw.
They ask about occupants and I say I am in the outside lane, the car is 4 lanes away with now a semi in the way, but my brother is checking. He came back and tells the 911 operator that there’s only a lady, and she seems dazed but able to talk. The police are arriving. We wait until we see the lady out, and things look okay before we drive on. And suddenly the interstate is back to normal busy… after the accident.
Tuesday: My body hurts from using it wrong to compensate for my hurt knee and probably tensing up during the wreck. I can’t even bend my knee without it hurting or giving out. But I get my poems from last week sorted the way I wanted them and add some stuff to www.info-wizards.net. My knee hurts so bad I opt out of going to the Monthly Dallas Internet Entrepreneurs get together.
Wednesday I loaded the ex-boyfriend’s truck full of his stuff. He better come pick it up and get off my property. Told Lilo to leave Salem alone. Lilo leave the 9 year old cat alone. Lilo stop. Lilo! Although after spending 4 days rubbing her little bitty body hoping she will live, the question of will I keep or not is answered. (Of course having to de-worm her immediately after those people dumped her on my porch had me leaning toward keeping her anyway)
Thursday I went to my part-time job, boss wasn’t there. He called at 10:15 to say his wife would be coming with the checkbook and bills. He was trying overly hard to be very friendly. So something was wrong. He brought bills that were over a month old, which upset me. It upsets me because bills get paid late, and he will yell at me for paying them late, and just because he likes to yell. So I left a note “I have got a new job. Next week will be my last week. Martha.” Then helped my friend cook dinner and take care of her kids….
*****
This weekend my parents are going to a dog show, and I am one of the handlers. I take the dog around the ring, then make her stand correctly for the judges.
*****
So my goal for next week is no dying animals, no witnessing accidents, no hurting my knee! NO? Ok, how about going to nephew’s birthday party, advertising my websites and starting a new one.
