If you were thinking, “Where is the daily success and motivation?”  then head over to 365OnlineTips

Did you know I am an author?  Find my articles over at Ezine Articles

My hub-page is LoveRockstar, which tells you all the ways to find me online.

Or maybe you are here just to read about my life.  As an author; well, I write about everything.  My personal life included, and while the blog has changed it has existed for over 8 years now.   I hope you enjoy and if you only take one piece of advice with you.  Take this life is short, and we all need to ♥ Live ♥ Laugh ♥ Love ♥

MJ Schrader

On February 19, 2010 my grandparents celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary.  In mid April, my mom and visited them.  They have been together 64 years and most of that time they have loved each other deeply.

Most?

They are a couple.  They have had their share of arguments and fights.  I have not even made it 64 months in a relationship.  Actually I am in the third longest relationship ever.   Not that I avoided relationships, but didn’t find a lot on the market that interested me, or when I did, they had no interest in me.  So my average relationship is probably in the 2 month bracket.

I have told my boyfriend, “we’ve been single a while, used to our own ways, it’s a problem.”  Well it’s actually my problem, I am not as flexible as I should be.  I have gotten rather used to doing things on my own and in my own fashion.

My Birthday

The end of May, for my birthday I spent it with him and his brother’s family and friends at Elephant Butte in New Mexico. It’s beautiful.  Being a very white chick, I had to use a lot of sunscreen  and naturally missed an area.   Missed my left lower outside leg.  We went Jet skiing and that area got fried.  Then later we went ATV riding.  I was riding a Trail Blazer 250, keeping up with 2 different 400s.

Trying…  I am not used to gravel. It’s a 250…  and I am stubborn.  So my boyfriend riding in a jeep with friends watched me lose control in the gravel and run into a gravel embankment and a shrub… and hit guess which leg.  Yes the left lower sunburnt leg also had gravel burns and shrub in it. What a great birthday present!  (and actually it amused me more than it hurt)  My mom called that night, worried about me, but didn’t say much.

A Fuzzy Two Weeks

On June 1st I came home.  Mom told me my grandmother had a stroke May 27th.  A massive one.

Grandaddy, who is already very very fragile, is not taking it well.

Over the next two weeks it was a mad scramble.  Me trying to get ahead on work, on writing, the project that was supposed to release June 3rd was delayed until June 10th because of the scrambling.  Trying to get ahead so because when things continue to flow as final plans are made.    June 7th we were told my grandmother’s organs were shutting down.  For the next 5 days my sleep was not restful, my dreams were disruptive.

The 20 Year Reunion

Then June 11th and 12th was the 20 year High School reunion.  On June 11, 2 hours before the 1st reunion party I called my mom and said, “you are not allowed to call me for the rest of tonight.”  She understood, just seeing her number on my cell would not have been good.  Lack of sleep and waiting for a phone call put me on pins and needles during a reunion when I wanted to chat and share.

But a few people heard a funny story.  Just last year our classmate Vicki came to Dallas for a wedding.  We had a mini reunion with a few others, and she asked could her brother go with us.  She may regret that now.  Because the next week I asked about him.  The next month she said he asked about me.  So my boyfriend is 730 miles away just outside of El Paso and older brother to Vicki Maestas Buckingham!  So we get to see each other frequently, Vicki and I!  and of course Fred and I!

Their uncle died two days before our reunion so that added to their inability to make it.

June 12th was the next day of the reunion.  But a week without sleep, finally resulted in sleeping all day.  Same on Sunday, which was also my brother’s birthday.  I emailed him a gift card.  He’s in Macedonia as a missionary.  Later that night I got a call.

no not a call…

the call…

the one.  Your grandmother died an hour ago.  Your grandaddy’s not taking it well. . .  (he’s been holding to life on for her, he’ll stop eating without her.)

My brother and sister in law were already in bed. It was early morning in Macedonia.  I was the first to catch them on the morning of the 14th.  Around lunch time there,  please skype Mom.  But Mom wasn’t on, so we talked first, then they talked to Mom later.

64 years.

there will not be a 65.

This post has been the roller coaster of the past few weeks.  Beautiful ups and dark downs.

What can I say to end this?

Life is short.  Live. Laugh. Love.

Live. Laugh. Love.

it’s the quality of life not quantity.

~ MJ Schrader

In February I decided to write 100 articles in 8 weeks…56 days.  And on April 8th finished, 100 in 50 days!  COOL!!  I am stepping up my writing even more now!

This is a huge step to me…  and you will notice I do love the combination of MJ Schrader Author… Of the currently 148 live articles 86 have been published elsewhere.

I visited my grandparents as stated in the last post, and finally found the words to explain why family is so important to me, although blood does not make a family to me.  Especially after spending time with boyfriend’s family.    One of them in the midst of the chaos of first communion, brunch and family togetherness asked… “Are you thinking our family is crazy yet?”   “No, you are family, it’s just … perfect.”

But the biggest thing that happened in April was all the self discoveries.  The realizing why family means so much to me.  I care about my brother, sister in law and parents, but not about the ones who only care about me because we are blood, a family means more than that.  Family is love.

But that wasn’t the only thing I realized.  And some very wonderful friends of mine are about to hear an earful…

The first three will laugh over the use of their icons here.   First is Allison Smith Haley of AllicatCo. Then Bonnie Cranmer, she’s green (environmental) and business website oriented.  Next is Kelly Maria Clark, a life coach and a fitness pole dance instructor.  Martha Giffen is a motivator and encourages internet beginners.

My j.o.b.s. have greatly under paid me.   Actually Allison’s website was a game changer for me.   As sad as it is to say, I have gotten used to being under paid.   Not only does it not benefit me, it also has people undervalue my skills.   Yet considering the almost regular calls I get for hunting a problem on WordPress, I must have quite a skill set.

Each one of these fine ladies encouraged me to realize that I have a great deal of skills in the WordPress and How To arena.   It made me realize I could and should offer my WordPress lessons as a paid course.  The benefits of this upcoming course are OUTSTANDING.  Because in the end, people in the course are learning what it took me years to learn.     And instead of one course there will be two!

They are yet unnamed, because one course will teach Website Basics and WordPress site creation, like WordPress 101.  The second I guess would be a WordPress 102, because it will take someone who has some knowledge and teach them how to create the site, and have additional lessons 101 (or whatever it will be called) does not have.

Both courses will have at least 52 lessons.  Yes it seems like an overwhelming number, but this is a lesson per week.  The lessons are big enough for you to grow and small enough not to overwhelm.  There also will be freebies and specials thrown in.

So if you have opinions on course names… please tell me.  Price opinions?

~MJ

By the way my birthday is Saturday!  If you want to get me an Amazon card I’d love it    *hey a girl can dream

Her parents celebrated 64 years together in January. There’s a very strong possibility there will not be a 65th anniversary. Both are on home hospice. It was hard seeing them, even harder talking to the hospice nurse explain an ever dizzying amount of drugs, while I could not repeat their names, the names were familiar enough to mean the end is near.

My cousin lives on their property with her kids, so she can check on them. My aunt and uncle live just up the road. So it is reassuring to know they are close, yet I do not wish to live closer.

I have written before that blood does not make a family to me, and every visit reminds me of such.

The thing is both grandparents have brothers and sisters. These great aunts and uncles are people I never met. At one point or another they had a falling out with this one and that one, til finally it was just them.

My Dad’s dad is the same way.  It is unknown how many brothers and sister he had.  He hated them all, so it was a strange day in my late 20s when he said I should visit “Mary… MY SISTER” whom I had never heard of before.

So in my life I grew up “knowing” that at any point in time, I could suddenly not have a family.

3 grandparents, 1 aunt, 2 cousins, 1 brother, 2 parents… could suddenly disown me. Maybe my parents would not… but maybe they would… It builds a huge fear factor growing up that you don’t have words to express to your parents.

And then in my early 30s the tables reversed. My grandmother’s family is full of love, and shared it even though she passed away over 25 years ago. My parents and I were at the birthday party of my grandmother’s sister, Dad’s aunt. Grandad walked up to me and proceeded to ask what was wrong with me that I was not dating. I said “I am just not interested” and walked away. He brought his girlfriend to me, “I am dating, a man my age is dating why don’t you date?” Again I made a remark and walked away. This time he cornered me. There was no place for me to go… “What is wrong with you? Why aren’t you dating? What is wrong with you?” I was shaking and biting my lip to keep from crying.

My dad jumped in, and told my grandad off. I don’t know what he said because he told me to leave and I did. Dad told me to treat my grandad the same way he treated me. We stopped talking other than brief hellos. When he fell, his mean streak that had been fairly contained grew out of hand. Women were nothing more than property, so Dad was a buffer IF we said more than hello and how are you to him.

So, when people ask me what family means… I say “love.” Family is not blood. Family is people who love each other, who share a sameness. People who make you feel like you are not a part of them, who may disown you if they feel like it… that’s not family. Family is love.

~ MJ Schrader

SNOW!

In February we had snow. Now for some people that’s no biggie, but for where I live, snow is a surprise. Snow that actually sticks to the ground for more than a few hours is a shocker. Snow for a few days?

Valentine’s and a House Guest

A few days before Valentine’s Day this snow moved in and then my boyfriend from NM visited while the snow was still here. This was my first Valentine’s with someone in 4 years which was nice, but a stress because I haven’t had anyone stay in my home for a couple of days in many years. I’d rather not admit it, but I have become a bit used to bachelorette life.

So here were 3 things that were bit amazing happening. Then another happened as well. My family is small. A family reunion would be 17 people with significant others, and 4 generations included. Since the family is small you would expect us to be close… you’d think… Then pictures must be made quickly before people see the camera.   Most certainly they don’t pose like we did below.

Brunch

And my boyfriend’s cousins invited us to brunch at their house an hour from here. The cousin who I already knew through Facebook gave me a hug. His sister and her family, I didn’t know and they invited us in warmly. We laughed and talked in the kitchen while brunch was being made. Everyone interacting like families should.

We ate brunch. Sharing food, discussing the new dishes, accepting imaginary tea from the 2 year old’s tea cart. Then we cleaned up together and laughed at music videos. Later we went out on their boat. A 42 foot boat with a cabin. The biggest boat I’d ever been on, we cranked music, while the girls fled from the “old people dancing” and in the midst of it all “Imma Be” came on.

Imma Be

It’s the first time I heard the song.  Dancing on a boat.  Surrounded with LOVE.  My boyfriend, who makes my heart light.  A family who loves each other.  And my writing career growing.  I felt loved.  I felt amazed.  And I felt incredibly at home.

“Imma be living the good life. The good, good, life. Imma be living the good life.”

yea… I am…

♥ MJ

PS. The next post will bring us back to current times!

Silly video recorded while the song was playing… a beer with frozen head …

For The Official Video

By Black Eyed Peas Imma Be

New Experience: Babysitting

In February I accepted a job babysitting, daily 2 pm to 1am.  She is 4, a great kid.  Her parents are wonderful friends.  However this was a lot of time to be with a child who doesn’t bark or meow, when that’s been your only children.   (My only pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. I am trying to get comfortable with saying that… not easy.)

Lessons Learned

So the many hours and quite a bit of thoughts going on in my head I have not been writing my personal weekly blog. Not to say I have been sitting idly watching her and doing nothing else.  I worked with her on writing, cutting, pasting and measuring ingredients.  She rather enjoyed measuring rice crispy treats. (BTW leave out one crispy per each cup when you are doing this with a kid or if you are like me you will lose count, plus it helps her count).

She worked with me on patience and learning how to explain things better. Children need very specific instructions and sometimes so do we as adults. She had very specific terms she wanted to use, to her a shopping cart is a buggie. Shopping cart was not acceptable. Yet, as adults we forget that other countries and even other parts of our country have different terms, like pop, soda, and here “Coke”  while cringing at the word “pop.” So I learned a lot which I hope helps in my future teaching “how to” projects.

Expert Author

(♥ love that my name is attached to Author ♥) During that time I also worked on writing, improving both speed and consistency. While I was not writing here, I was submitting articles to Ezine Articles. I decided to write 100 articles in 2 months. 100 in 56 days. I did it in 48. Now there are 114 articles on Ezine Articles, 50 are published elsewhere and over 4500 views.

Also did quite a bit of thinking.  There is something to be said for trying something different. Yes, I needed money, (still do) but I didn’t babysit when I was a teenager.  I have for friends, but only a few hours, several kids and a few hours I was cooked.  So this was an experiment to see what I could learn.

I learned how to get more done in less time. Although now that I am not babysitting my schedule is wonky due to some other problems and I am doing less. Also I realized some changes need to be made. Like I can take on odd jobs doing graphics work, website set ups and even answer questions to make some money.

Do you need Graphics?  WordPress help?  Installation?

That being said, if you need graphics work, website set ups, or WordPress questions answered contact me. I am taking in jobs.   Just send a message via Twitter @LoveRockstar or Facebook.  I am taking in 3

There is more to be said, but that’s for another post.

Live ♥ Laugh ♥ Love

~ MJ Schrader

One More Season

Tax season started early in November because our company offered a “pre-season” loan that reduces the refund, by giving clients money now. This early loan bothered me ethically, the interest rate was legal, yet the fees associated with it made it reprehensible.  Plus unfortunately this mostly preys on the uneducated and we are “encouraged”  to push them to get the loan if they sit at our desk.

Starting in November threw me off schedule for the things I needed to have done before Christmas and on my business. But throwing me worse was that twice I had the boss visit me at my desk to publicly yell at me. During this last season she yelled at me at least a dozen times. Yes, yell, raise her voice and yell at me. No, I am not deaf.

Every tax season, since I started at the new office, I would get laryngitis for almost a week. This year was different, I got it in November, in January, and in late February. 3 TIMES. One co-worker was getting her associates degree online when we were slow, my co-workers on crafts that they would later sell. Yet my writing a book was strictly prohibited. When clients came in, my crafty co-workers were given a moment to get things off their desk, I was not. And in the end I got the least pay that I had received in years.

With the laryngitis and other oddities, it was like being given a big “have you finally had enough?” kind of warning.

Roadblocks

So as soon as tax season ended, my credit card got hit with a HUGE fee for an annual subscription that I didn’t know I had. The company refused to refund my money, because I had “agreed” to the subscription. The credit card company refused to work with me. And now I have a subscription to service that has ebooks and articles written by non-English speaking writers. Mistakes are common.

Salem, my now 10 year old cat was attacked by another cat. It’s happened before, he normally needs a few days to recoup, but he started getting worse not better. The vet prescribed antibiotics, and said he’d might need surgery and come back next week. Next week resulted in the same issuance, so 6 weeks after the first visit he finally had surgery and a final week of antibiotics. Just in time for Luna to cut her paw open…

Having not been much of one for being sick (except for the annual laryngitis and a bit of flu then), I was shocked to get the flu in the middle of the summer. Every time I tried to make big progress with one of my businesses I got sick. Blocks appearing to get me discouraged and whenever I wanted to make progress. So it was a bummer… but

Progress was made!

July 20th, I hosted a 12 hour web Ustream marathon. Interviewing different people on how to conquer fear. The book I started writing in 2008 was put on a shelf until I could make money. Yet I produced an ebook and two videos. I created 3 new websites during 2009 that have been my new hub, my business and personal blog (which you are reading). My personality has changed to a stronger and more positive.

While there are some who say I am negative, a lot of my posts here must reflect my own stories of abuse because I cannot tell someone else’s story, nor can I tell what has been disclosed to me personally. Plus if I only include the positive how can I hope to help people find the positive from negative situations, or to realize that they deserve better than abusive situations. Too often we only qualify physical abuse when there are other forms of abuse.   In addition sometimes what others view as negative is statement of facts for me.

That’s my story… and I’m stickin’ to it.

So please comment with what have been your roadblocks?

MJ

Personally I am not big into resolutions. Resolutions do not seem to work for most people. Perhaps because we resolve to “work out more,” or “eat healthier” or “read more.” There are no solid resolutions, no commitment or number.

Work out more? Eat healthier? By choosing to eat an apple today instead of a doughnut by definition is healthier. Yet this is not really what we need to do, we need to decide to eat an apple everyday. Decide to work out 3 times a week . Commit to reading 2 books a month. Commit to losing 5 pounds for the next 4 months and then maintain.

These are defined goals. SMART Goals. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely.

Specific ~ an apple. Measurable ~ every day. Attainable ~ a slight stretch going from once a month to every day. Realistic ~ 1 apple vs 5 (unless you really love apples) Timely ~ for a year

The other thing to setting “resolutions” is to turn them into goals. Not goals for right now, but goals for the end of the year. So you have to keep working towards that end goal.

This is the idea that bubbled into my head reading Erica Douglass and her New Year blog. She has a #themeword for the year, Create. She wants to create more. More of everything. In Erica’s blog you can read that her goals are SMART.

After spending a few days in thought, my #themeword appeared. My #themeword for 2010 is “Action.”

Because for years I haven’t taken action. Because I want a massive change in 2010, which requires action.  Because I don’t want to go back to a job, action is necessary.  Because I must take action to get out of debt and into a new home.  Because I want to get my ideas on paper and on video, which requires action.  Because I have a lot to share that floats in my head, action again. Because I want to exercise 3 times a week in addition to daily walking, action. Because I want to travel, action. Because I want to spend time with someone special, action. Because I want to visit my friends in Texas, action. Because I plan to cook 3 times a week, action.

So yes, I do believe my #themeword is action. As for my goals… well I have them written down, but I don’t plan on sharing most of those. Yet, you will be seeing some interesting posts in the next few days.

What’s your #Themeword? Comment below and I will add your #themeword to this page.

MJ Schrader

Do you have a mentor?

For years I wanted to create a business online, I started working online 7 years ago. My income was minor, but it was there. At the end of each year I had enough money to pay for Christmas. This was not exactly the business success I envisioned.

Then 2008 I wanted more, my income increased but not enough. Finally in July of 2009 I decided to finally get a mentor. My business started growing, I learned little things to help my business succeed, while my blog makes money now. If you are curious about my mentor visit Pat’s Coaching.

How does a mentor help?

Having a mentor has meant someone who stirs me into action. He guides me along the path, without forcing me or the situation from school “it’s my way or else.” Business is not like that, there is not one correct answer. However there are times when we need assistance and direction. A mentor also helps give advice when you are stuck.

Is it worth a monthly fee?

Well, as a friend would say, “it’s worth testing.” If you decide you want to try a paid coaching program commit yourself to three months of training. You don’t have to pay them for three months, you may quickly find you and the mentor are not compatible. However if you like them, then commit to 3 months. It takes time before your business will see any success, so quitting too quickly could shut you short.

What is the last important factor?

Yes, a mentor can help you. Yet, only if you make a commitment to work, to aim for success and go for it. So like mentioned previously and will be mentioned again YOUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON YOU!

So what did you expect today?

I hope you got more blessings than you can handle. Just in case you are blue because “it’s been so tight this year” here’s a thought or two…

If you feel bad because your presents are meager and few, think about how few people in the world can afford to give any gifts. Or imagine the ones so excited over a gift as small as a pencil or a couple pieces of candy.

Perhaps you are disappointed because your housing situation isn’t like it was. If you have a pillow and a bed, you are far better off than many people in the world today.

Maybe you are disappointed because you can’t dress up in special clothes for Christmas. There are people in the world who eagerly take our “throw away” clothes and feel like Santa landed and gave them the biggest Christmas ever.

And if you ate something today, then think about how much of the world is starving.

You are here, reading this blog on a computer, this means you have access to internet which is in a heated building. You have access to electricity and chances are you are wearing clothes that are not in terrible condition. Chances are you ate something today, even if it was Ramen Noodles, or PB & J… you my friend, you are wealthy beyond what great many people in this world can even imagine…

SO ANNOUNCE IT! ANNOUNCE IT TO YOURSELF! ANNOUNCE TO EVERYONE! I AM WEALTHY! I AM WEALTHY! I AM WEALTHY!

Announce it everyday until you believe it heart and soul… tomorrow I’ll tell you why

Wishing you a Very Merry Christmas

MJ Schrader